Advent Letters: Year Eight, Letter Four
The last time we left the Mellema brothers, they were hugging and dancing and celebrating. But as so often happens with brothers, that celebration soon turned to bickering. By their usual standards, this argument was not significant. But I’m not exaggerating when I say that the fate of their entire quest hinged on their decision.
By this point, the brothers had figured out how to steer their flying platform where they wanted. As they approached the other side of the canyon, this meant they could choose their landing spot.
The canyon wall was a granite cliff that was riddled with caves and crevices. Along the bottom of the canyon—which they could barely see through the mist—a river wound through tall cliffs on either side. On top of the canyon wall was a rocky plain which led directly to the gates of Castle Krampus.
From these different options, each brother preferred a different landing spot.
“I vote we go all the way down to that river,” Matt said. “It seems the most secure—tall canyon walls on both sides. And I bet that river leads right to the castle.”
“But we don’t know if it leads there,” Jer replied. “Let’s just go to the top of the canyon. It’s a straight shot to the castle. Why wouldn’t we take the most direct route?”
“Because if the mist clears, we’ll be sitting ducks on an open plain,” Matt said.
Matt and Jer went back and forth. Brian, meanwhile, stared straight ahead. Back when the platform first opened, do you remember how the center diamond flew across to the other side of the canyon? Matt and Jer hadn’t. But Brian had. And as the brothers got closer to the canyon wall, Brian could see exactly where the diamond had come to rest: the entrance of a cave.
Brian pointed at the jewel. ”I think we should go there.”
“There’s no telling where that cave goes,” Jer said. “It might lead to nowhere.”
“And I don’t know about you, but I do not want to be trapped in a cave again,” Matt added.
“But that’s where the diamond went,” Brian said.
”So what?” Jer said.
Brian crossed his arms. ”If that’s where Santa’s present went, that’s where we should go too.”
Jer and Matt both looked at each other. Jer shrugged. Matt sighed.
“Okay, Brian. Let’s follow that diamond.”
A few minutes later, the brothers were safely inside the cave, and climbing off of the floating platform. They had no way of knowing, but at that exact time two goblin scouts were riding their wyverns right past them. One of them flew over the banks of the river where Matt had suggested they land. The other was flying over the rocky plain where Jer had suggested they land.
The goblin scouts flew their wyverns back to Castle Krampus, and landed on one of its many turrets. They scurried to make their reports to the general. The goblin general, in turn, scurried to Krampus’ inner chamber.
Once inside, the general stopped short. Krampus’ throne was in such deep shadow that he couldn’t see if Krampus was even there. Finally, the crunching of another bone and the tossing of another empty food platter confirmed it.
“Well…” Krampus asked.
The general inched forward. “Our scouts have returned from their sweep of Faerie.”
The general could almost feel Krampus leaning forward on his throne.
“No sign of any North Pole invasion force or rescue force.”
”And…”
The general scrunched his face in confusion.
“The human boys!” snarled Krampus.
The general wiped his forehead. ”We found no sign of the human boys. They must have been eaten by the Minotaur.”
For a moment, there was no noise from the shadowed throne. Eventually, a low rumble emanated from it. Something between the purr of a great cat and the growl of a wolf.
Feeling like he ought to say something, the general stepped forward, “Would you like us to keep searching? The Stymphian birds and the Roc were strangely absent from the canyon. They could just be beneath the mist, but it could also mean—”
“No.”
The goblin general froze. The silhouette of Krampus rose from the throne. “I don’t care whether those human boys were sent from Santa, or whether they’re still alive. If Santa has chosen not to send a proper force to take back the Heart of the North, that can only mean he’s an even greater fool than I thought.”
Krampus paused for a moment, as if savoring the words he was about to use.
“Prepare the invasion force. Every able-bodied warrior. We march on the North Pole at first light.”
“Should we at least keep a small contingent of troops here at the castle? Just in case?” The general asked.
“No. Nobody who Santa sent can threaten us. Besides,” Krampus let out a sinister rumble that might have been a laugh. “Even if those boys do reach my castle, I’ll have plenty of surprises waiting for them.”
Back at the North Pole I stared, open-mouthed, at the two ravens in front of me. After telling this entire story, they simply sat on the back of Santa’s chair. One sipped some water from a cup. The other preened his feathers.
“Well?” I asked. I leaned so far forward in my chair that I nearly fell out.
The ravens didn’t say anything. They each turned a beady eye to me. Unblinking.
“What happened next?” I shouted.
“We returned to the North Pole,” Hunin said.
“So that…that’s where the story stops? We’re all up to date?” I asked.
The ravens blinked.
“Then there’s a whole army of goblins and trolls preparing to march on the North Pole as we speak,” Kanute said.
“And the Mellemas are headed straight toward Castle Krampus,” Annu added.
We all stared blankly into the fire. Snow pelted the library’s tall windows. Wordlessly, all our eyes turned toward Santa Clause.
Santa rose from his seat. His expression was calm, but his eyes were blazing. “We have two essential goals. First, to assist the Mellema brothers in their quest for the Heart of the North. Second, to protect the North Pole. Fortunately, the same course of action will best help both goals.”
Santa looked to each of us in turn.
“Gather the citizens, Erno. We will prepare ourselves for the defense of the North Pole.”
And that, I’m afraid, is all for this year. I understand this is a bit of a cliffhanger. A goblin invasion force is marching on the North Pole, the Mellema brothers are approaching Castle Krampus in an underground tunnel, and Santa Clause is mustering his army of faerie warriors. I would love to give you a few more hints about how this all plays out.
But I really must be going. Avvu got it in his head that the recipe for our official North Pole candy canes (a recipe which has remained unchanged since the days of King Alfred) needed adjusting. I don’t know what he added to the vats. But the candy canes rolling down the factory line are so potently pepperminty that they caused our taste tester elves to start hallucinating.
Have a blessed Advent and a very merry Christmas. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find a gas mask so I can safely enter the candy cane factory.
Felicitously,
Erno
